Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
