Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
