genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sobbing to NWA
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
