Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
