How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
