this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
