dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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