youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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