Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
