My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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