Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
