so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
