you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
