I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
