turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
