What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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