I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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