Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
