Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We just shotgunned beers for America
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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