I swear she didn't look like that last week.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
