If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
