am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
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I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
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Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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