Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
