I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
