Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
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Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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