Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize