Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i think my cat just said my name.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
