eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
