margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
