Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
