He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Actions speak louder than pants.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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