I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
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She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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