i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
high people should be assigned attendants
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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