why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
