Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
