but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
