I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
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Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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