you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
