This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
