Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want to make out with him forever
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
