I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
handjob tips. give me some.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
