This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.