Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
