its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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