Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
