I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
