ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
