return my video game
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
