Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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