I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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