It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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