Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
