Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
