Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my phone needs a breathalizer
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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