I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
