Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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