You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
