Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
