Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
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So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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