I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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