Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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