Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
