She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just tell him i said nine months
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
