maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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