I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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